A Young beautiful girl came up to me at back to school night and said these words to me. As I sat at my vendor table, I looked at her with a pit in my stomach and thought to myself, wow she looks so adjusted. She had the most trendy haircut; shaved on one side with long flowing locks on the other. She seemed to be outgoing as I observed her interact with the peers at the back-to-school event. She appeared to easily float between group to group and interacted with the other kids all while clutching the crisis stabilization flyer close to her body, wearing the empowerment through healing ourselves bracelet, that I had given her.
Earlier, as I gave it to her, she boldly but quietly said “I think I’ll have one of these, because I think I need to talk to someone. I responded by asking her what she meant by that. And, she quickly said “Well, I’ve been going through a lot this past year. My boyfriend tried to commit suicide and my grandmother died all within the same week last year.. since that time I’ve been struggling with my feelings and emotions.”
She went on to say, “I’m so tired of sitting upstairs, alone in my room, crying to myself and no one even knows how badly I am hurting.” I asked her, “What do your parents say about what you’re going through? She said “Well, my mom doesn’t believe in anything that has to do with a mental health diagnosis and my dad, he doesn’t believe in medication or being medicated for anything. So, I have never had a therapist or even talked to anybody about what I was feeling, so I sit upstairs in my room, alone, crying to myself with no one there to help me.” I told her to call me and to show her parents the flyer as a way to help them begin to understand what she was feeling. As she walked away, I thought to myself; How many times has this happened? How many times will this young girl have to sit alone in her room and figure out how to better help herself before it’s too late?
In my line of work, I see parents with the best intentions who are not able to recognize changes in their child’s behavior. I see kids who are struggling and I see parents who would like to help but don’t know how. If you are a parent or you have a young person in your life, take the time to really talk to them… It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out conversation. All it takes is eye to eye contact and a genuine sense of empathy and understanding to get your child to talk to you. The worst thing you can do is to dismiss their feelings and not validate their experience. First step is always to listen.
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